Personality Development

Personality in simple words means distinctive personal qualities which help one to establish one's identity. Personality of a child develops in a very natural process , which certainly can be improved further by proper guidance of parents and teachers. In fact, developing a child's personality is in a way development of a child in every aspect. It is the responsibility of the parents as well as the teachers to see to it that the child plays enough , reads enough and socialises enough.

To some extent, a child inherits its responsibility from its parents. Coming to the specific question how to develop a child's personality, it is imperative to know about the main factors that constitute its personality. Broadly speaking these are : Child's physical traits ( which are visible), child's intellectual qualities, attitude, behaviour pattern, feelings and aspirations, commitments and convictions. How the child's personality will develop, to a great extent, depends upon the way he is allowed to socialize, interact with others emotionally during his childhood, the parent's behaviour with him/her, how the child is treated by his near and dear ones, the cultural milieu in which he/she t is brought up, the amount of care and love it gets from its parents, the contribution made by the school, and the facilities provided to the child for his physical growth and mental development.

The most common criteria of defining a child's personality is it's physical outlook which consists of it's height, weight, leanness, fatness and so on. However, apart from having a good height, balanced weight, healthy physique, if he t has a good sense of dressing and hairstyle , we generally term his personality as being "impressive or good". To take care of a child's health, he/she may be provided nutritious diet. It is possible to even help the child in gaining height and controlling weight with the help of medical advice, tonics, physical exercises etc. To make him physically active , sports or games are necessary.

Play - an Essential Element

Play forms one of the important elements of child's personality development. It is a medium that provides the child an opportunity for fullest self -expression, freedom and pleasure. It is also a creative activity. More over, play is refreshing and rejuvenating.

It is helpful in developing habit of sharing cooperation, mixing up with others, being assertive and leadership quality. A child who takes part in the sports and others competitions, may have to go different places with the team. Quite naturally while staying with the fellow players in a camp or in some hostel he/she learns all these qualities of sharing, co-operation and so on .


Talking about the development of the child's intellectual qualities, let us first take up the socializing factor . For a child to later become a go -getter or a dashing person (as is generally required by most of the top-notch organisations) this component or personality counts a lot. It is necessary that parents watch how the child interacts with the family members, friends neighbors, classmates etc. And they must encourage him to mix-up with these people or else the child would prefer to be left alone and may develop shyness and a sense of loneliness. Similarly, teachers can also contribute in making a child social .

Role of Emotions

While talking about the development of a child's personality, one must t mention he emotional development in the children . Emotions play a major and a very important role in this context. Development of various emotions in a child from part of his personality development. Expression of emotions plays a vital role in an individual's personality.

Emotions can be divided into two broad categories:
1. Pleasant and 2. Unpleasant .

Joy/ Happiness-

This emotion is displayed in different ways by the younger and the older children . Younger children express this through their motor activities like jumping, clapping or they do activities like bubbling, kicking, etc.. Whereas the other children may express this emotion by smiling or laughing . However this way of expression is different in the boys and the girls .


This is generally found in the younger children and is one of the most important emotions which is desirable in every child. Curiosity boots up a child to achieve something or in other words it motivates the child to become something .However, a lot depends on the atmosphere in which the child lives and the people with whom he mixes up . If they are encouraging enough, a child will naturally develop this emotion .


Affection broadly includes loving , caring and tender feelings . A child needs all these very much first from its parents then as it joins school, from its teachers . This emotion creates a special bond which further contributes in the overall development of a child to a great extent . To a small kid this is supposed to be expressed by certain gestures like patting, kissing, laughing, etc.


Fear is an example of the unpleasant emotions . Small kids generally cry, scream of shout out of fear whereas a bit older or younger children might express their feelings of fear by locking the doors, illuminating the room, drawing the curtains and so on. This is a feeling which generates from various reasons e.g. some bad experience, at times, from imaginary and supernatural experiences, etc .


Jealousy, another unpleasant emotion, is actually an attitude of resentment or it is an act of showing resentment against someone. It generally emanates when one finds oneself inferior to the other or when one seems to lose something. This emotion is expressed in various ways which depends on the person's age, its nature and so on . A child, if jealous of someone, will perhaps beat that person or snatch away from it something which is very much liked by it . So while dealing with the children it is necessary to be very careful about the fact that all children in the family are treated at par . They need not be discriminated on the basis of their sex, looks, intelligence, activeness and so on .


Anger denotes a person's dissatisfactions with others or for someone's act. However the frequency and intensity varies from person to person . Anger, however, occurs more frequently in children whose parents either cajole or nag them quite often . The way the parents think, talk and behave has a great impact on the children. If they really want their offspring to come up to their expectations , they must first set examples by standing true to their principles. So parents proper upbringing of a child plays a major role in proper upbringing of a child .


Shyness is generally developed in a child due to lack of socialisation . It makes a child remain aloof, alone and confined to himself only. He/she does not feel comfortable in a group or in mixing up with different kinds of people. An extremity of this emotion may make the child timid, unable to express its views, it's desires, it's problems and deprive it of it's right. It can further prevent him from making the best out of child's talents and qualities. They remain unpopular and unnoticed which is likely to give rise to a feeling of inferiority complex in them. The best way to avoid shyness is to encourage the children to move around, talking and mixing up with more and more people, knowing their views, noticing their way of thinking, listening to their suggestions and then communicating with without any hesitation .


Anxiety generally results from worrying . To some extent, it is similar to fear but not identical. Anxiety is the result of an imaginary cause and it generally increases when one fails to find out any solution to the imaginary problem. It cause sleeplessness, tensions, depression, nervousness and so on.

A young child suffers from anxiety more than a tiny one because it is only when one thinks one thinks over a certain matter for a long time, analyses it, draws conclusions, and finds a negative result, that anxiety takes place. Quite naturally a smaller child does not have that much capability of thinking as a young child has.

Parents' behaviour

The maximum contribution is made by parents in shaping the personality of the child. But it is generally the mother who naturally and practically remains the biggest source of love, affection, guidance, care, supervision, inspiration and motivation to the child in general an during childhood in particular . A warm, affectionate and loving mother builds up a healthy maternal relationship with her child which helps the child to develop its personality . Though every mother does her best in this regard, keeping in mind the fact that it is largely her contribution that is going to shape the child's personality makes a lot of difference .

Husband's helping hand - a must

Though the responsibility of nurturing the child, taking care of its physical and mental growth, its safety, and its study is generally regarded as women's work and more often than not shifted to the already overburdened mother. But this in no way, lessens the responsibility of the father. Due to pressing financial needs women like men have to work to supplement the family's income, which leaves them with little time of look after their children and they genuinely need a helping hand from the husband, who must share the important task of upbringing the child .

Tips on personality development of the child
  • Do not scold child all the time for minor failures.
  • Do not trouble the child constantly.
  • Frequent use of bitter or harsh remarks should be avoided.
  • Avoid the practice of preferring one child over the other and thereby neglecting the other.
  • Do not denigrate or disparage the child.
  • Avoid prolonged separation of the child.
  • Constant friction with the child or between the parents should not be expressed in front of the child. Never discourage the child.
  • Do not praise your child always.
  • Excessive discipline is also harmful.
  • Repetitive or sever punishment should be avoided. The child should be given a change to rectify itself and punishment should be the last resort.
  • Parents should not be over-ambitious regarding their children and they should not set goals for a child which is not in harmony with his intellectual endowment , capabilities , achievements and interests. This also puts a breach in the proper development of the child's personality.

"Criticism of personality or character leads to negative feelings about oneself."

Qualities that one should possess to strengthen self-esteem

  1. A Positive Approach A positive approach in life ensures success and happiness . A positive person is never daunted by failures or competitions because he is confident about himself and failures bring out the best in him . He is a hard working soul and never gets deterred by irrational thoughts that are responsible for triggering off negative feelings like anger , depression and despair He. believes that "to every dark cloud there is a silver lining" and strikes back with much more self-confidence only to emerge successful.
  2. Realistic Attitude person with a strong self esteem is confident but not over confident. He does not believe in building castles in the air. He is down to earth and believes in hard work and knows for sure - "what he wants in life, whether the field he has chosen suits his capabilities, his taste, his qualifications- In short, what we call a realistic approach to life.
  3. Self-Confidence An individual with a strong self esteem exudes confidence. He never feels insecure in the face of tough competition and has the heart to appreciate if he comes across a better person. At the same time he never doubts his capabilities. After a failure, they do not probe a futile questions, "I should not have made that statement" or " will he like me?" Or condemn himself for minor mistakes.
  4. Learn To Appreciate Others A person with a weak self esteem likes to criticize and condemn others. Their discouraging nature not only irritates people but also makes them unpopular. Instead of appreciating a positive gesture they always try to find fault with others .On the other hand , a person with a strong self esteem appreciates people, their views and never makes fun of others . They are warm and do not miss an opportunity to offer a sincere note of thanks for even the smallest of tasks. Try this and you will notice that this small technique makes life easier . You will definitely feel better after making others feel good or cared for.
  5. Learn To Smile Genuinely For all those who have not really smiled for quite sometime- Life is indeed quite tough and frustrating in one way or the other . But remember laugh and the whole world laughs with you, weep and you weep all alone. Let us begin with just a smile.
  6. Learn To Communicate That You "Really Care" Human beings tend to take themselves and their near and dear ones for granted . As parents, as children , as friends, we take each other very lightly, depending on one another but at the same time ignoring their very existence . This creates a stillness, a kind of monotony in life.

Parenting is a task which most parents, at different stages of their life, find it challenging. This site has been developed keeping in mind the day-to-day needs of the parents in upbringing their child. This site caters to the several problems faced by the parents of today. We have provided several articles and other resources for your use. read more...